Walking into Menopause with PCOS

 OK, so the bullshit of PCOS is that it doesn't go away and there is no cure. You can go into remission, by essentially taking care of your insulin resistance. Which means I am back to taking a ton of supplements, reading up more again on PCOS and now menopause, and I am start the fun part of weight lifting. I've read that the weights are essential to when you get older and add in the fact that women with PCOS typically have better results in losing weight and keeping it off with that is helpful.

But damn, one would hope that menopause would help somehow? But noooo, instead I am again losing hair, losing my libido, not losing weight, feeling more and more tired. Oh and the melancholy, good gods of all that is happy in the world, just random sadness that makes your heart just hurt...and the mood swings are fucked, because you go from happy to kill mode in like 3 seconds. 

With also have this stupid Chek2 gene that causes life to be slightly more cancerous, I want to get a full hysterectomy. I know it won't fix my PCOS, I know I will need to be on hormone therapy, but I much rather not risk ovarian cancer (my grandmother had that and it spread) and that tends to get diagnosed after menopause and usually once it's found it's later on and that sucks too.

I am already getting colonoscopy's every 2 years and of course mammograms. They want me to get a breast MRI like every year and I can't afford that. I told them last time I could do it every 5 years. But I do get the 3D mammograms every year. I also need to make an appointment with my general doctor, who is new to me since I moved and my last PCP was not always the best at listening to what I was saying during our dr. appointments.

My first coloscopy was just about 2 years ago, and I already had 7 polyps. It will be interesting to see what this next one shows, hopefully nothing bad!

A week after that is my pap and mammogram. That's when I'm hoping to convince my Dr to approve the hysterectomy. Assuming that happens, it will be the first time I've had surgery and I don't dread any of that, I just worry about recovery. 

Oy, so much and still not a whole lot. 

Happy Dance!

So, in a nutshell, the breast specialist says my % is much lower than thought and that I do not need to a boob job :) Happy Dance!!

Now, moving on with life <3

Chek2 Gene Mutation and what that means...

So a few months back I had genetic testing done at the direction of my doctor, mainly because my grandmother had breast cancer and died at the age of 50 (before any of us grand kids were born). My initial report came back clean, nothing wonky or out of the ordinary. Then last week I get a call from my Dr. saying there was an updated report, one that shows a previously gene variant has new info and that I need to come in for all of this to be explained to.

I go in, the Dr. says this gene mutation, Chek2, means I have a high breast cancer risk and he suggested I get a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy and gave me information on what additional doctors to call. My Dr said that my risk is basically 1 in 2 or 1 in 3 chances of getting breast cancer. I asked him about other options, but really it comes down to talking to the Breast Specialist.

So now I am going to be seeing a Breast Specialist at Mercy in Baltimore this week. I am taking a ton of questions, my last 3 years of Mammograms and my one breast MRI.

Because holy fuck, this is going to be so intense, life altering and painful. A double mastectomy. My breasts, just - gone. Yes, I am going to get reconstructive surgery, but I like my boobs. I like how sensitive they are. Thank that all that is sacred I have insurance and this is covered.

Here is hoping good things are discussed with this doctors appointment...

Cramping My Style

- Moved Post to New Blog!

Cramps, oh how I love thee and despise thee.

Cramps, you difficult bitch, thanks for the morning wake up call.

So, yeah as you can see my period is starting to get more friendly with me because she's a complete and utter whore who seems to think my poor uterus is her horrific playground.

Sorry, I didn't get as much sleep as usual last night and I think my brain is still working on fumes. Coffee has yet to really impact my blood stream and what blood I have is starting to leak out of me. Oh the fucking joys of the menstrual cycle.

But the upside of this? This is something like 6 months in a row of me getting my period - which is practically unheard of with me previously (stupid PCOS crap). I attribute some of it to losing weight, less stupidity/stress in my life and maybe my hormones are just starting to behave slightly normally. And the really possibly cool upside - if I'm getting my period, that POSSIBLY means I could at some point get pregnant. Of course, that would be later on, once I am divorced AND with someone for a while!! But it's nice to know that if I/we wanted a kid, it's a possibility. A better one than in years passed when my stupid period hated me. If I get to that point, of course I will see the Dr before even thinking of trying, just to make sure I still don't have those lovely cysts choking my ovaries. That's even if at that point in time I/we want kids. I might just be happy with how things are. Who knows! I'm shutting this part of my brain off now...

Diva Cup - My Period (PCOS) and probably a TMI post

- Moved Post to New Blog!

So, I have been using Soft Cups for a while now, about 3 years or so and was on the fence about going the route of the Diva Cup (or something similar). I saw a post in one of the PCOS groups I'm part of on facebook and finally moved the item from my saved for later list to the cart and checked out. It arrived 2 days before my period started (score!).

One cool thing I did not realize is that it has measurements on the size, ml and ounces. Which then made me turn to Google to see how much the average women bleeds during her period. The answer, typically 30 ml (1 ounce) but can range from 10 to 80 ml. So, when I filled up the cup (15 ml) the 1st day, I was like - damn! Add another almost 7.5 (ok, let's say 7.5 ml due to all spillage, leakage, etc) for the hours after work and before bed, because I had changed it out again, before the cup was in for the night. I had almost another full 15 ml again this morning. DAMN. So, my normal period in the first 24 hours is MORE as the average woman's 5 day period! No fucking wonder I get so tired!!!

Now yesterday, day 1, I did drink a lot of my Moon Day tea and Organic Ginger tea (3 cups of each). They both are really good for flushing your system and helping your uterus out. I will be doing the same today. My periods are usually about 3 days long now. Which is a lot shorter than they were in the past. No need to go into all those gory details!

Because of PCOS, I take Pregnitude (and no, I am not TTC (trying to conceive) I am pretty sure that ship sailed!!) because it comes in this nice little packets that contain 2 grams of Myo-Inositol. I take 2 packets a day. Sometimes 1 at a time and sometimes both at once.

From my pcos-information-herbs-and-supplements page:

Myo-Inositol " Encourges Ovulation in women with absent or irregular menstrual cycles with PCOS. Decreases Leptin, and helps with Wieght loss in PCOS. Improves Mood, and can help depression according to studies. It is really good for your liver. Helps hirsutism. Decreases androgens. Helps Insulin Resistance. Decreases acne. Lowers total and free testosterone levels. Improves quality of eggs."

For me, I take it for the mood, liver (I have a fatty liver, stupid body), IR and helps with my minor hisutism (and by minor, I mean that I pluck every day let's say 10 little stupid hairs off my neck/upper lip/chin or wherever facial area). I have not experienced any weight loss with this. But I REALLY like it. I am not some angry pissed off freak of a monster with hormones raging all through me. Yay no jail time ;)

I also take progesterone cream - "can help to supplement your body’s own progesterone levels and lead you back to a state of natural balance."

Because those of us with PCOS are typically LOW on this. Ha, Google low progesterone and PCOS and you will see a lot of info out there.

One of the things I've read is that it helps your uterine lining shed more, which is important because a thick uterine wall is one of those "things" that gets associated with cancer. And with my family genetics, I need to be aware of shit like that. My grandmother on my Dad's side had Ovarian cancer.

So I am happy to know how much I am shedding, at least to some degree, by using this Diva cup. Of course, I could still have a thick wall but some things I just can't help. I know that when I was about 19 I saw an OBGYN for a pap and she had said my was thicker than normal, like I had already had a kid (which was a negative in that!) and I've always remembered that comment because I thought it was a bit unusual.

I have this learning curve with the Diva cup, which I knew would happen. As long as I can get this thing down either this cycle or the next one or 2 I will be happy. It's a better long term solution for my period and better for the environment. No major leakage thankfully, just minor tweaks so far.

I seem to rotate what I am taking for my PCOS, depending on what I need at that moment...and also because it's good to change things up every now again, you know, get off that plateau and shift the scenery.

Oh and did you know? That when you get a cramp during your period, it's your uterus contracting, like it does in childbirth? Uh huh. I get back pains with my period as well as cramps and it wasn't until last night that I realized, NO WONDER I had back labor with my son!! Ahahahahahaha. I knew cramps were muscles, well, cramping, but for whatever reason I didn't think of my uterus doing gymnastics was my period as such.